Surviving Our Nights
Coping with PTSD Nightmares and Emotional Flashbacks
For many of us who have lived through trauma, the nights can feel the heaviest. Sleep should be a place of rest, but instead, it can bring back memories and sensations that feel almost as real as the day they first happened. Nightmares leave us shaken, while emotional flashbacks flood our bodies with fear, shame, or despair, sometimes without a single clear picture attached. These experiences can leave us exhausted, doubting our own safety, and wondering if we’ll ever find relief.
I want you to know: you are not alone, and there are gentle ways to care for yourself when the nights feel long.
Understanding What’s Happening
Nightmares often carry pieces of our trauma, sometimes direct and sometimes symbolic, that jolt us awake in terror
Emotional flashbacks are intense emotional storms, often without images, where our nervous system convinces us we’re still in danger
Both are not signs of weakness. They are the nervous system doing its best to protect us after overwhelming experiences. They are reminders that you survived.
Finding Your Way Back to the Present
When nightmares or flashbacks happen, the first priority is to re-anchor yourself in the here and now:
Orient to your surroundings. Gently name five things you see, four things you can touch, three things you hear. Let your senses remind you of where you are
Reconnect with your body: Plant your feet firmly on the ground, hold a comforting object, or wrap yourself in a blanket. These physical anchors can help you feel safe
Breathe slowly: Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four. Repeat until your body begins to settle
For more tips on grounding ideas go to my site and sign up for the free Grounding Guide
Creating Safety Around Sleep
Rituals before bed can ease the transition into rest:
Soothing environment: Keep a nightlight on, play soft music, or use a weighted blanket for comfort
Release thoughts: Journal briefly before bed to set down what’s weighing on your mind
Gentle routines: A warm bath, stretching, or meditation can tell your body: “It’s safe to rest now”
If you wake from a nightmare, remind yourself out loud if needed: It was a dream. I am safe in this moment.
Caring for Yourself the Day After
These experiences can linger long after the night. It helps to:
Rest when possible: A short nap, quiet time, or simply slowing down can restore your energy
Move gently: Walk, stretch, or engage in light movement to help your body release stress
Reach out: Share your experience with a trusted friend, therapist, or coach. Speaking the fear aloud helps loosen its hold
Longer Path of Healing
Managing the immediate aftermath matters, but healing also comes from addressing the deeper layers of trauma:
Therapy and coaching: Trauma-informed approaches, like EMDR or trauma recovery coaching, can help reprocess and release the pain
Community: Connecting with others who understand can break the isolation trauma often creates
Self-compassion: Healing is not a straight line, hard nights do not erase your progress and every step toward safety matters
A Gentle Reminder
Nightmares and flashbacks may leave you weary, but they do not define you. They are your body’s way of holding onto survival. With time, patience, and support, they can become less consuming.
You are worthy of peace. You are more than what happened to you. And every night you make it through is proof of your resilience.
If you are ready to engage in a healing journey please reach out to a trusted source, a friend, therapist or coach. If you aren’t quite ready or are looking for more resources around trauma coaching check out my book Healing Forward: The Power and Promise of Trauma Recovery Coaching available at Lulu Bookstore or Amazon Kindle
-Peace & Light